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I See Me In You

Heather Hans

Carl Jung said, “Everything that irritates us about others can led us to an understanding about ourselves.”

What makes your blood boil?  What is one of your pet-peeves that you just can’t stand about people?  Let’s look at how that says more about you than about the other person.  I talk about this a lot because it’s important.  It’s important, because it leads us to self-awareness, and when we are self-aware we are empowered.  We are empowered to make conscious decisions for ourselves in our lives.

AuthenticI will give you an example.  There was someone once who was a member of the same group I was in, and this person dominated all of the group discussions, dominated them completely.  I sensed in him some insecurities but he came across as very very confident, almost aggressively confident and stern, and he didn't seem to pay much attention to other people or what they needed in the room.  He didn't allow them much space, because he was always up front taking charge.  It got to the point that it was making my blood boil.

It got to the point that I didn't even want to attend the group meetings.  That was my clue that there was something going on inside of me, that this was more about me than it was about this other person.  Because if things just mildly irritate you, that’s one thing, but if they make your blood boil then that reflects upon you.  So I said to myself, “I want to resolve whatever it is inside of me, because it’s driving me crazy.  This is totally distracting me from the point of this group and what I’m here to do."  So I looked at it closely and carefully, and thought what does he have or what is he doing that I do too, that I’m not accepting?  Well certainly I don’t get up there and dominate the group and act aggressive and condescending, so what is it?  I couldn’t pinpoint it.

I realized I was doing the opposite of what he was doing, also based on insecurity.  Except my insecurity manifests as NOT speaking up enough, accommodating other people  besides myself, and that’s what I was doing in this group.  Because I wasn't getting up and speaking up for myself I was resenting the fact that he was.  Because I was so hyper-focused on everyone else in the room and what they needed, I was annoyed that he was just thinking about himself.  These are both symptoms of the same problem, insecurity.

Once I realized this about myself I discovered what I needed to do to correct it was to speak up for myself and not be so insecure and self-absorbed that I just sat back resenting him instead of getting up there and letting the chips fall as they may. I decided I was going to start claiming my voice in these group meetings, and the other thing I was going to do was not worry about taking care of everyone else in the group.  I would, certainly, be mindful of other people and treat people respectfully, but it wasn't my job to take care of people.  I made that decision and as I went to that next group meeting, this person who had been bothering me decided to leave the group.  That’s what happens when you become self-aware, these people come up in this life for a reason.  They come to show you something about yourself, and if you use that and are grateful for that, you can resolve the issue within yourself and those people disappear.  This has happened over and over again in my life.

What makes your blood boil?  ~ Who just drives you crazy?  ~ See if you can do some detective work to figure out what’s going on inside of you that needs to be resolved.

Heather Hans is a mystical healer using loving energy to facilitate healing for the heart, mind, body and soul.  Heather can personally guide you in your journey of growth and healing through her new book The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence available through AmazonBarnes&Noble, and booksellers world-wide.  Get your copy today!

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