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Boundaries

Boundaries

Attraction brings people together in work, community, and love. Boundaries keep them together. Boundaries are what allow games to be played, roles to be fulfilled, and love to be had. Likewise, relationships crumble when boundaries are violated. Appropriate boundaries are a cornerstone to mental health. The most important boundaries you will ever set are the ones you set for yourself. The first boundary you must establish is the people you let into your life, and how closely you let them in. In this very small circle, are the people you trust completely and who have your back no matter what. Most people are lucky if they have one or two people in this circle. The next circle out represents your closest friends and family. They are helpful. They are there for you. The third circle represents people that you love and care about but people who are not totally trustworthy. Not because they’re malicious or trying to harm you but because they may have some of their own unresolved issues or ignorance that prevents them from being someone you trust completely. People in the fourth circle are not trustworthy. They are not on stable ground; they drain your energy, and life becomes chaotic when you let them in. Finally, the people in the fifth circle are ones who cause harm, have ill intentions, and vibrate at low-level emotions, such as hate, jealousy, and resentment. People need to earn your trust. The fact that they have good intentions is not always enough. They need to be coming from a place of wholeness, groundedness, and their own self-love before they can be show up and love you. Relationships are necessary yet trust is earned over time. Your instincts about people are correct. Listen to your inner guidance. Your boundaries determine your well-being. Choose the people in your life wisely and without apology!     Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.  Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at avanoo.com If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will NEVER be shared with...

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It’s a Process

It’s a Process

It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. It’s a process. Life is a crazy eight; like the infinity symbol. Your goal only brings you to the next step of the process. There’s really only one final destination and I don’t think you want to be there! We ready to film? Let’s get this process rolling!     Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.  Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at avanoo.com If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will NEVER be shared with...

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You Belong Here

You Belong Here

Lonely? Independent? Allow me to transform your paradigm! Every single one of us has a need to belong - to our significant other, to our friends and families, our culture, country, and world. It’s core to our existence and our happiness. The opposite of belonging is loneliness. A lack of attachment leads to spiritual, psychological, and physical illness. Researchers have found that belonging requires: Frequent, positive interactions with the same people. Engaging in these interactions within a framework of a caring, stable, long-term relationship. Belonging goes beyond superficial friendships and even sex. It is the need for deep bonding that is crucial to our well-being. It’s such a strong instinct that even highly intelligent people join cults, stay in abusive relationships, and go against their own intuition in order to belong. Changing romantic partners can be seductive; but researchers say that it’s belonging found in loving, long-term relationships that is most important. Belonging is required for romantic bliss. Studies now confirm that love must be mutual in order for it to be satisfying and for you to feel that sense of belonging. In one study they compared people who received love without giving it and those who gave love but didn’t receive it back and they found that both groups described the relationship as unsatisfying. No one belongs here more than you! Every attempt you’ve made in your life to belong has been for the right reasons. And if you don’t yet feel that sense of belonging, stick with it, and we will get you there! All of these videos, everything I do, for you, is to help get you there to that sense that you belong here! That you are connected, first and foremost, to yourself, to a Greater Force, and to your community.     Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.  Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at avanoo.com If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will NEVER be shared with...

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The Perfect Dream

The Perfect Dream

What’s your perfect dream? I’ll tell you the components of a perfect dream and then set you free to create. The perfect dream is NOT necessarily logical or based on fact. The perfect dream makes you FEEL good! It makes you smile widely! After all, it is these qualities that you believe the achievement of your dream will give you. Tuning into these qualities, therefore, is the goal. It just so happens that as you feel this wellbeing you raise your vibration, which puts you in a state to receive your end goal anyway! You become an energetic match with what you want when you allow yourself to feel good. Engrain this into you brain. You become an energetic match with what you want when you allow yourself to feel good! Remember, as soon as you achieve the dream there will be something else you want. The point is being happy & free NOW! When you feel the feelings of having your dream it makes you happy. Whatever pleases you, DO IT, especially in your dreams! People don’t allow goodness into their lives without even realizing it. Let’s start by allowing them into our dreams! Whatever decision you chose in real life feel good about it. If you don’t, then do it differently next time. When you contradict yourself you feel bad. You came here to create & expand your love. Your job isn’t to fix anyone, including yourself! Do you use the word artist after your name? If not, consider doing so! Everything you do in this life, every thought you have, is a creation. What I am encouraging you to do is to allow into your life what makes you happy! A guaranteed way to feel happy is to focus on happy thoughts without judging them or putting conditions on them. Allow yourself to dream and your dreams, or even better ones, will manifest into your life. This is how you raise your vibration. This is how you truly achieve your dreams! Sweet dreams!   Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.  Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at avanoo.com If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will NEVER be shared with...

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Feeling Frisky

Feeling Frisky

You’re alive. Alive! Abraham-Hicks describes connection to the source as feeling frisky. How frisky do you feel? By feeling your passion, your aliveness, you raise your vibration and attract better things to you! Reaching the end goal is a small part of the point. It’s the enjoyment of the creative process that matters most! Playful, full of energy, perky, exuberant, in good spirit, spontaneous! Someone who is frisky is apt to do anything, anywhere! Spontaneous and jolly in everything they do. Your job is to follow your bliss. The fire & passion inside of you is God energy. It’s your connection to source. I was enjoying being pet-free, but when my son fell in love with this stray cat during our animal shelter volunteer shift, I knew the love that cat would bring him was worth it. I am so glad I followed that impulse! Follow your wacky inspirations! They are God’s whisper.     Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.  Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at avanoo.com If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will NEVER be shared with...

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Heather Hans Trailer

Heather Hans Trailer

Heather arrives in dramatic fashion on the big screen this week as she attempts to grasp an even greater audience across the West Coast with her unique & inspirational teaching style. Watch as she highlights the best moments of the past & provides us with a brief glimpse into the promising future in this week's video.     Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.  Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at avanoo.com If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will NEVER be shared with...

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The Secret of Making Miracles in Business and in Life

The Secret of Making Miracles in Business and in Life

Although a miracle may seem like a random occurrence, there are actually 3 steps one can take to purposefully manifest a miracle. The luminous Jessie May Kezele, Personal Branding Coach & founder of Daring Divas, invited me in to speak last June about miracle making. May this special edition video of that teaching, co-created with women on a mission, inspire you to unite with all that is important to you!     Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.  Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at avanoo.com If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will NEVER be shared with...

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Tap Into Abundance

Tap Into Abundance

As my late & great teacher, Dr. Wayne Dyer, said, abundance is not created. It’s a state you tap into. “There's not enough for me. There's not enough love for me!" That used to be my paradigm until I cleared it out and discovered it was all an illusion. Most of our culture lives with some type of scarcity mind-set. Money. Love. Food & Substances. Time When you feel disconnected from your creator, you forget that there is no such thing as a shortage. Money Discounts/Bargains/ Marketing - mind manipulation based on fear of scarcity. I promise you that if you miss this sale there'll be another one a few steps up... There are certain things it’s best not to do after a certain age, once you become a real a grown-up, say 30, such as, having a roommate, getting sloppy drunk, or being commitment-avoidant. Likewise, always being broke & struggling for money becomes goofy after a certain point. No disrespect to our ancestors, who survived the depression. The predominant collective world view at that time WAS famine. I better not spend any of it because then it'll all be gone! God, by its very definition, is abundant; there is no end to it! Food & Substances Over eating and over-consuming substances is another sign of a scarcity mindset, feeling like there is just not going to be enough. Sensual pleasures are wonderful, but if you are frantically going after them it means that you are not only out of touch with your body, giving you clues that it’s full, but you’re also out of touch with the truth. We create our lives. If you believe you have to get in all your sweetness now because it's gonna be a while until you get it again, then you don't yet understand your power. Love Settling in relationships -Forcing people to love you
-and having to be with your significant other all the time are all symptoms of a scarcity mindset in love. It's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. You will get in there, you will be my soul mate, you will love me or else! But wait, I’m not your soul mate, I'm not the right person for you! Just be quiet and get in there! How much more delightful and luxurious it is to feel so at home in yourself that you don't give a darn whether he likes you or not! I used to think that people sucked so badly that I couldn’t find a single one in this world. But then I realized that was my paradigm and an excuse. Your twin flame wants to unite with you as much as you want to unite with your twin flame. Allow them to appear without force. Time There's not enough time. I'm running out of time. I wish I had more time. Kids are our best mirrors. I noticed my own scarcity mindset with time when my son started frantically getting ready for bed at night and when I asked him why he was doing that he was saying, “because you said we’re running out of time, there’s not enough time!” A scarcity mindset is dangerous and exhausting! Similar to how a toxic relationship is one that does not grow, a scarcity...

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3 Signs of Relationship Material

3 Signs of Relationship Material

I am in my 21st year of therapy, my 6th year as a therapist, and I continue to be amazed at the wisdom within us when we go deep. This particular teaching comes from my teen-self. Amazing how wise she was at that age. Despite not having followed her wisdom myself for many years, I now know this lesson through and through! If you are serious about having a happy & healthy relationship, you must pick someone who is healthy in body, physically present, and emotionally available. I was involved with someone once during my very young years whose skin broke out in a rash because of excessive alcohol consumption. This person later went on to commit suicide – obviously not relationship material. Obesity, anorexia, addiction, illness, disease – any one of these things causes a person to be unhealthy in body, which means that they cannot fully show up in love. They have their own business to take care of, their own healing to do, before they can be a partner to you. In order to have a fulfilling love relationship, the dude or the chick needs to be there! They need to be there in the flesh, in your day-to-day living to support you and you to support them. Also, the best marriages are the ones with the most frequent sex. A person who is not physically present is literally not relationship material because they are the other half of the materials that you need to form the relationship! There are those people who are physically present but emotionally checked out. Unless a person is attuned to your emotional needs, interested in your thoughts, and aware of and concerned about your inner life, then they are not relationship material. Someone who is relationship or commitment avoidant or someone who is not attuned or sensitive to your needs is not relationship material. To recap, if you want a happy, fulfilling relationship you must pick someone who is healthy in body, physically present, and emotionally available. That much I know for sure!     Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.  Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at avanoo.com If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will NEVER be shared with...

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You Are Not Your Body

You Are Not Your Body

You are not your body! This life is not all there is! Our bodies carry us through this life, so we must respect them, but they are temporary vessels. Some people mistakenly believe that they’re born, they live, they die, and that’s the end. But Albert Einstein and others disproved that notion. You, me, we- We don’t die. Do the research if you need evidence. When I was a kid, I had a skinny body. When I got to college, I gained some weight. Now my body is the healthiest and most fit it’s ever been, and one day, G-d willing, it will be a shriveled up old prune. And so will yours, unless you die young or are already a shriveled up prune. Our bodies change and new cells are generated while old ones die each and every day. Every 7 years, every 9 years…a new cycle. Right now I’m tall, I have long legs, thin arms, a nice smile. I also have scars, moles, freckles, a few wrinkles, and it’s all going to continue to change, because our bodies change all the time…and we are not our bodies. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Our bodies won’t always look like this. Beauty fades, ugliness fades, and one day, as my son says, your body will either be buried or burnt. And then it will become something else. People decide on meanings for their bodies. In some parts of the world, nudity is accepted, in others, it’s taboo. It’s all simply a reflection of ideas, agreements, and culture. What are the roles your body plays? I play many roles. I’m a mother, I’m a woman, I’m a runner, I’m a psychotherapist, I’m a speaker, I’m an author, I’m an artist, I am a daughter, I am a Jew, I am a human being, I am an energy field. I am a spirit. I am a soul. I am love! WHO ARE YOU?     Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.  Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at avanoo.com If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will NEVER be shared with...

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