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Your Legacy

Your Legacy

Heather Hans What is your legacy?  What do you want to leave behind when you leave this planet? I’ve worked with people for years, and what I have found is that, what brings people the most peace and the most contentment is when they feel like they have meaning in their life, when they have a purpose in their life.  When people feel like they’re just floating along with no meaning, no purpose, contributing nothing or leaving nothing behind, or if they’re just going through the motions just for the sake of going through the motions, they feel like their life if meaningless.  And, because we have this higher consciousness, unlike the plants or even some animals, we actually contemplate our lives, and when we contemplate our lives and feel like it’s meaningless we often don’t even feel that there is a reason to live. What is your legacy? A legacy is like an M&M in your hand.  When you hold it in your hand for a while then open it again you see that the M&M leaves a stain.  That is its legacy. What are the kinds of legacies that people leave? Some people leave a legacy through their children.  They bring children into the world and they do all that they can to raise them well, and they carry on the evolution that way.  Their children then make contributions to society.  Some people create a legacy through giving to humanity, through finding a cause that they believe in and they contribute their time or money to that cause so that when they leave they feel like they’ve done something productive with their lives.  Some people leave a legacy by creating something new or discovering something new.  Look at Albert Einstein.  That was quite a legacy he left.  Some people leave a legacy by brining joy into people’s lives.  Entertainers do their craft and help bring pleasure and entertainment into people’s lives.  That is their legacy. What’s your legacy? When you go about your day to day life, what are you creating that will be left behind when you die? In my life, I have two main legacies that I want to leave.  One is my son, and the way that I parent him and all that he can be in this life, all that he already is, so that when I go I leave behind this wonderful legacy of a fantastic human being.  The other legacy is through my work and my teachings.  I hope to leave behind teachings that will inspire people and uplift people, unite people, and help evolution continue.  People have different legacies, and it depends upon what your soul longs for that will be your legacy.  Not everyone leaves a positive legacy.  Some people leave terrible legacies for others to clean up, such as Hitler. What kind of positive legacy can you leave behind that will leave a stain or an imprint that will help serve humanity in some way? For women, there have been women in the women’s movement who have allowed me to have the job that I have, who have allowed women to go into the workforce in ways that they never did before.  What was Rosa Parks’ legacy?  She would not go to the back of the bus.  Do...

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Buffet

Buffet

Heather Hans Have you ever observed the all you can eat buffet? People go to the all you can eat buffet for sport and they’re not messing around.  It is game on when they arrive at the buffet.  The problem is, a lot of times our eyes are bigger than our stomachs, like our mothers told us when we were little. How much in life do you take on because your eyes are bigger than your stomach? Let’s say someone invites you to a party this Saturday night.  You kind of wanted to lay low, but you didn’t want to be rude so you said yes.  You’ve just piled something on your plate.  Then someone asks you to volunteer for a group they’re putting together and you really like this person and even though it doesn’t really fit in your schedule and you don’t really have time to volunteer now, you say yes, because how could you say no to volunteering when they specifically asked you.  So you pile it on your plate.  Next someone asks if you’ll do them a favor and house sit while they’re gone.  You’ll have to drive clear across town, but you don’t want to leave them in a pinch, so you say yes.  The next day friends ask you to help them move.  Normally you’d be fine with that, but you have a full day as it is and you’re going to have to drive across town to do it.  You won’t even have time to change into your scrubby clothes, but you say yes, because that’s what friends are for.  Finally, someone asks you to stay late at work, because everyone else has gone home early and this deadline has to be met.  Well, of course, you’re not going to say no to that.  So you pile on more. Before you know it your plate gets so big that you can’t possibly digest all of it!  We digest our experiences just like we digest our food, and we have a certain capacity at which we can do that. Remember the movie European Vacation, when the daughter is just eating and eating and she’s exploding because she’s putting in more than she’s taking out.  That’s why we’re only supposed to take in as much calories as we burn so that there’s an equal exchange of energy running through us.  It’s the same when we say yes to all these things in life. Why do we say yes all the time?  Look at it in your own life.  Is it because you want to be liked?  Is it because you think that’s what you’re supposed to do, what you should do?  Did you know that the word should is very guilt and shame provoking?  We don’t even speak that word in my house.  There is no should.  Do you do it because you feel like the world will fall apart if you don’t do it? Some of us don’t trust the Divine force so we think that we just have to do everything and manage everything.  Otherwise things will all just blow up to smithereens.  It’s not true.  There’s a much bigger, bigger universe around you, and everyone participates, not just you. What you can do for yourself and others is to fill your...

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Leaps of Faith

Leaps of Faith

Heather Hans What have you jumped into wholeheartedly without knowing the outcome, and it was worth it even if the outcome wasn’t what you wanted or expected?  I'm talking about leaps of faith. Leaps of faith are the most critical part of mental and spiritual wellbeing, because they represent confidence in the divine and confidence in yourself.  Life is constantly changing.  Every day is new, and we always have to take leaps of faith into new territory.  It can be scary and people get paralyzed by fear. One of my favorite quotes by Patrick Overton says, “When you have come up to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things will happen.  There will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.” When have you taken a leap of faith and had it kill you?  Never, or you wouldn't be reading this! Your leaps of faith don’t have to be big.  They can be tiny little baby steps.  You can just dip your toe in the water.  Do what you’re comfortable with.  You don’t need to frighten yourself, but if you can trust that the divine has your back always and that your soul knows what’s best for you, above and beyond what anyone can ever tell you, what any book can ever guide you towards, your soul knows its purpose.  Your soul knows its highest calling.  Trust that.  Even when the outcome isn't what you had in your mind.  The mind is much different from the soul, and the soul knows exactly what you need. What is faith?  Faith in the unknown equals confidence.  If you are looking to improve your faith or your self-esteem it happens through repetitive acts of leaping into the unknown.  Leaps of faith!  Doing things even when you’re scared and knowing that God has your back, and that your soul has your back. This is an intuitive process.  This is not a mental process.  If you over-analyze your decisions too much you will not act from the soul.  You will not act from intuition and you will squash your faith.  You won’t take the leap that you would if you just paid attention to your intuition.  If you get into a relationship or take a new job based on this gut feeling, this is your soul guiding you.  It may not be the person you’re meant to be with forever or the job you’re meant to be with forever, but it is exactly what you need in order to move forward and get to the next step.  Trust your soul and take leaps of faith. What area of your life are you scared to jump into right now?  What do you feel stuck in and want to grow in but feel scared?  I promise you, promise, promise, promise you, that the divine has your back if you take that leap of faith!   Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life. If you enjoyed this...

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Going Primal

Going Primal

Heather Hans In what areas are you primal? Let’s take a look at them and the different levels of the brain and how we can make the most of what we’ve been given as humans. The reptilian part of the brain dates back to reptiles.  This is the part of our brain that regulates body temperature and our breathing.  It’s very impulsive.  This is the lowest oldest part of the brain.  The second level of the brain is called the limbic system.  The limbic system is responsible for our emotions.  The limbic system developed in mammals.  So, we went beyond reptiles to mammals having emotions and values.  Our ability to create values for ourselves is part of the limbic brain.  Another part of the limbic brain is that it records memories.  It helps us remember things from the past.  Finally, what developed in primates, including human beings, is the neocortex.  This part of the brain is responsible for our higher thoughts, our higher intelligence, our consciousness, our imagination, our intellect.  This is the part of the brain we don’t use when we are going primal. What are some examples of some ways you go primal?  We all do it, where we revert back to that reptilian brain. One way would be to indulge in something even though you know it’s bad for you.  If you overeat or over drink, your higher self knows this isn’t the right decision but you are acting on emotion.  What about when you snap at someone or respond quickly or harshly because you’re irritated, tired, or whatever it is.  That is going primal.  You are reacting from a very emotional, very base, reactive kind of a place rather than taking a step back. A great other example is when people are attracted to each other just based on physical chemistry, yet they have nothing else in common.  This is a very primal kind of behavior, being attracted to a hot mess.  You have nothing in common.  You cannot build a life together.  It’s not sustainable.  But you go primal just because of your urge. When we have these urges, and we will all have them, the important thing is to pause.  Pause and wait before you respond.  Pause and use that higher intellect, your higher consciousness, to come up with a decision that is the right thing to do. When you get an email that you want to snap right back at, take a day and think about how you want to respond in a more adult way, in a more humane way, a more human way, rather than just fiery.  Going primal means we are reverting back to a very old base part of our brain. It’s fine to have primal urges, it’s quite another thing to act on them.  How can you pause and restrain yourself from acting on those primal urges and incorporate your higher intelligence that you were given in this lifetime?   Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life. If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will...

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Laughter – Are bills funny?!?

Laughter – Are bills funny?!?

Heather HansWant to get a new perspective on something?  Try laughing at it.  I want to share with you a secret to happy people.  They don’t take life too seriously.  Researchers have found we don’t even need a reason to laugh, but that when we laugh all of these functions start happening in our bodies that relax us and heal us.  The important part to know is that we don’t have to have a reason.  We don’t have to have the funniest joke in the world in order to laugh. We can create our own laughter.  Give it a try.  Laugh.  Now, try laughing at something you normally would definitely not laugh at.  For example, get a bill in the mail.  Laugh!  Laugh at yourself, of course laugh at others, and laugh often.  Find what it is that does make you laugh and bring more of that into your life. We don’t laugh much as adults.  We’ve become crusty.  If you look at children you see that they laugh at the tiniest things.  They are amused at the littlest things and they benefit from that laughter.  We need to bring in that same zest for life and as you do that your perspective will shift.  It brings us away from our problems, away from the mundane and lets us look at life from a whole new perspective. What is funny to you, and what’s NOT funny to you, and how can you make it funny?   Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life. If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will NEVER be shared with...

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Girls Can Be Anything

Girls Can Be Anything

Heather Hans I recently went through boxes and boxes of my childhood belongings and I found one of my favorite childhood books.  It’s called Girls Can Be Anything and it has a picture of this little girl as president of the United States.  This book was written 40 years ago exactly.  Two years before I was born and sadly it has not come to fruition.  We have not had a woman president of the United States.  Is this a coincidence? I think not.  Half of the country’s population is women.  We've had 44 presidents and not one of them has been a woman.  We finally got someone of color in office, but women are still lowest on the totem pole. I recently got back from a trip to Washington, D.C. with my son to give him an education of our country and its history, and I couldn't help but be overtaken by the sexism in the leadership roles of this country.  This is a phenomenal country and mankind has contributed so much to it, mankind.  But women have too.  That has not been demonstrated.  Women have not been allowed to rise to leadership roles and be in charge of things in this country, with the exception of a few sprinkled in here or there.  They’re still the minority. I’d like to share the dangers of oppression and sexism, and what we can do to heal this sickness in our society.  We were there over the 4th of July to celebrate Independence Day.  On this day in 1776 Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence and said that “All men are created equal” and he certainly meant all men, and he meant white men at that.  It’s ironic that the capitol of our country, which is the symbol of freedom was built using slave labor. When we went into Madame Tussaud’s wax museum to see all of the 44 presidents, which was phenomenal, at the end we got to a little plaque that said “Could you be the next president?”  On that plaque it lists all of the qualifications for the United States president, and I’m going through them saying, “I got that! I can do that.  Cool I’m that! I’m over 35.”  And then it has a picture cutout with a mirror inside so you can see your face as president of the United States.  And what is right below that picture?  A man’s tie.  A man’s tie!  Even my son was appalled. At the Smithsonian Museum of American History you walk in and you see a display of the women’s suffrage movement where women got the right to vote.  Yay, good job for getting that in there.  Good job for thinking and believing and knowing that women are actually human and have the right to vote.  However the entire rest of the museum is filled with man’s, great, contributions to this country. Phenomenal contributions to this country.  Do you know what the only display is of a woman’s contribution, a woman in a high place, what her contribution is to society?  It’s the first lady’s dresses. Dresses!  I like pretty dresses like the next woman, but what about my brains!?  What about my heart?  What about my strong work ethic, and what about my ability to understand human...

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Trust Your Intuition

Trust Your Intuition

Heather Hans How often do you second guess yourself or ask other people their opinions when its time for you to make a big life decision? Sue Frederick talks about how we all have this internal GPS in us which is our gut feeling our intuition our subconscious.  Some people say it’s God speaking through us.  The body is always right and the body sends us signals all the time.  Most of the time we ignore them.  We’re so into our senses and in our minds that we forget the messages our body’s telling us.  They start off as subtle messages and then they become louder and louder when we don’t listen to them. I personally think it’s great to ask other peoples options, whom you trust, and get a wide variety of opinions for critical thinking purposes.  To make sure you’ve thought of every angle, but at the end of the day, no one knows better than you.  No one can make a decision about your life better than you.  Where does that decision come from?  It comes from the deepest depths of our soul.  Our own internal GPS.  Why do we block ourselves? Why do we second guess ourselves?  And why do we feel the need to ask everyone their opinion before we make a decision?  Indecisiveness.  It’s rooted in fear.  What do we fear?  We fear our own self-criticism and we fear other people’s criticism of us. I have news for you. It is none of your business what other people think of you.  It’s their business, and they’re going to think whatever they think of you regardless of what you do.  The important thing is to be authentic.  To listen to your soul. To listen to your intuition and to know that it’s guiding you.  Does that mean that if it tells you a decision, you make that decision, and it doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would that that decision was wrong?  No!  I have clients that come into my office that say “I don’t trust myself anymore because I thought I was making a decision based on intuition and it didn’t go the way I had it planned.”  Well you don’t know the biggest highest purpose for your life.  There’s something much greater than you operating and you’re soul really does have a wisdom to it. Sometimes we need to go through things that may be painful or challenging or may not turn out exactly the way we wanted them to, but it’s precisely what our soul needed to grow and evolve.  You can trust your inner voice and as long as you’re not judging yourself and you’re giving yourself some leeway to say I’m listening to myself.  I’m listening to what my bodies telling me, just like when the body falls ill, when you don’t pay attention to it, when you don’t rest it’s going to keep getting more and more ill until you do. We get these wake up calls in life and the key is to try.  Try your hardest to listen to it the first time around with the subtle cues. One great way to do this is through meditation.  When we close our eyes, even if you’re just closing your eyes and sitting, you don’t have to...

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Let Go, Let God

Let Go, Let God

What does it mean to let go and let God? It means that you do the preparation and you let God take care of the rest. When you slack on the preparation, you’re not going to get the results that you want. When you over prepare and try to muscle your way through everything and get the exact result you want, you’re not going to get what you want; usually. To let go and let God means that you do your part and the Divine does it’s part. The relationship we have with the Divine Life Force is just like any other relationship. When it meets in the middle is where there is health & where there is love. When you take your efforts, your talents, your skills, and everything you bring to this life, and you give 100%, knowing that your best effort, and all that you are, is only 50% of the equation; and you let the Divine come in with it’s plans for you and all that it created you to be and do it’s 50%, it’s actually doing it’s 100%. You’re each doing 100%; but you each play a role in that relationship and together you create the outcome. Together you create what you are meant to be, who you are meant to be, and your experience in this life. If you look at your life and see in what ways you are trying, trying, trying, trying too hard to manipulate the outcome, chances are it’s time to let go and let God in your life. Likewise, if you’re sitting back and watching opportunities pass by you and not acting on them, God is doing it’s part, it’s coming in and giving you 100%. You’re not doing your part there to step up and meet the Divine in the middle. So ask yourself which side am I on? Am I giving 100%? Am I using all of my talents & abilities? Am I really going for it in life? Am I taking risks? Am I engaging? And am I also, simultaneously, letting go of the outcome? When you combine these two, you’re going to have magic.     Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life.  Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at avanoo.com If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will NEVER be shared with...

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