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How to Unite People

How to Unite People

Heather Hans In your personal life or in your work do you wonder how to bring people together?  Maybe this isn’t something you come across every day, but you are a citizen of the world, which means that if you come together with other fellow citizens of the world we will have a more united world, a more powerful and productive world, a more evolving world. Imagine if our world was invaded by aliens.  All of a sudden all of those things that matter to us now about differences and people would vanish. We would unite as a HUMAN race.  Because I am a woman does that mean that I can only be friends with women, or only have women in my life?  Of course not.  Because I am an American does that mean I cannot appreciate other cultures or other nationalities? Because I am Jewish does that mean I can only surround myself with Jewish people? No.  I have a new friend who is a Muslim and we find joy in coming together and seeing how our religions are actually similar and how we see eye to eye even though in form they may look very different. Coming together and bringing people together means meeting people where they are.  This is what therapists are trained to do.  We meet people where they are.  You don’t judge a person for being where they are, you simply get into the space of where they are and relate to them from that point, as best you can.  You don’t ever know what it is like to be in someone else’s shoes, but you can take away that judgment and know this is where they are.   I am a big activist for women’s rights.  How do I meet with someone who is sexist?  Well, I try to get into their psyche and figure out how and why they got that way.  Maybe this is something that has been rooted in them for generations, and it has become part of what they know to be true.  When you can meet someone where they are, then you have the most hope of transform and also to make peace.  To make peace is really what we want.  I don’t know anyone who wants to be in war.  Even the people who are going to war claim that it is for peace. All of the different colors, genders, sexual orientations, religions, nationalities, and ages; they are all perfect as they are, in this moment.  If you can say that without judging and respect other peoples’ differences, while at the same time finding your common humanity, you can recognize the contributions these differences make.  You were born as a man or a woman; there are two different genders.  Is one better than the other?  No.  It means they are different.  They each have something different to offer to the world.  They complement each other.  And, at the core, they are both the same. Human. To unite people, to bring people together, to relate people  you must meet them where they are and respect that wherever they are is where they need to be, at this moment.  Realize that differences of religion, actions, beliefs or thoughts may not be right for you, but maybe it is right for...

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Navigating the Writing Path: Start to Finish

Navigating the Writing Path: Start to Finish

Heather Hans "Heather, how do you do it?!?" Over the years, I've had many people ask me just how I get all that I do done.  This came to mind as I received an invitation to join the I C Publishing Summer Blog Tour on navigating the writing path.  Writing is a large part of how I bring my work to the world and I thought I would take a little time to share how I fit my writing relationship into helping people build strong relationships with themselves and the other people in their lives. Thank you, Kelly Pryde for inviting me to join this amazing group of writers sharing their passions in this unique blog experience.  Kelly Pryde, Ph.D., is a parent coach, family mediator, and the author of Reinventing Mom. Kelly's new blog, The Patience Project, chronicles the research + writing of her second book as she helps families (including her own!) grow patience, understanding, and stronger relationships.  To connect with Kelly and her valuable insights into patience and its power to strengthen your relationships visit her website or find her on Twitter: @DrKellyPryde How do you start your writing projects? My writing most often comes to me through inspiration during times of rest, exercise, or during/after a new experience.  I am always jotting down ideas for new content.  Once I have enough content for a particular project, I sit down at the computer and create an outline.  Or, even if I only have a single thought, I may seek additional research to support that thought and turn it into a project. How do you continue your writing projects? I say I prayer each time I write.  That prayer is to be a clear channel and servant for the divine so that what I write is helpful for others to create a better life.  I continue my writing projects by allowing new thoughts to come to me, rather than trying to force them, taking notes, and incorporating them into the project.  I frequently search for research to support my thoughts.  My thoughts then lend themselves to other creative expression (particularly my video scripts) and my mind then wonders to visual art that supports a piece of writing.  I set aside time to write and I create a goal for each time allotted. How do you finish your project? I add up a pile of notes that came to me through inspiration scattered all over my house and office, type & organize them and then dress it up, depending upon the project.  I believe in creating self-imposed deadlines, which inspires me to work hard and finish my projects. What is one challenge or additional tip that our collective communities could benefit from? An additional writing tip:  I find that writing, especially larger projects like books, is best done with help and support from others.  It’s often too overwhelming to do it alone and having/hiring people who can help you break it down into manageable pieces and support your emotional experience is critical. Challenge:  Many of my thoughts come to me when I am not near paper, a computer, or any kind of recording device, and there’s no guarantee I will remember the thought later.  I’d love to know how other writers handle this dilemma.  Also, I’m more of an artist when it comes to...

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Negative Consequences of Multitasking

Negative Consequences of Multitasking

Heather Hans Do you remember the time when multitasking was all the rage and people actually prided themselves on being able to multitask? Well, a new study from the University of Washington found that multitasking has negative effects.  Duh! Why?!? Because, when we multitask we are not able to put our full attention on any one thing. Everything we do gets short changed.  Not only does the quality of what we’re doing suffer, but it leaves us feeling flighty, jittery, unfocused, and ungrounded.  If I’m sitting down eating, checking the internet, talking on the phone, writing something down…that’s sloppy.It is sloppy because I’m not focused.  I’m trying to do many different things at a time.  People don’t get more done that way.  What occurs is a half-baked job at everything that way. Newer generations have it rough in this aspect, because we live in a world now where everything is on-demand, instant, we are expected to produce and perform and be in contact all the time, constantly.  This makes it very seductive to want to multitask, because we are expected to produce so much. When we do that we suffer and the quality of our work suffers. It is an art to be able to learn how to focus your mind and focus your attention for the task at hand. When you are with your child, are you down on the floor playing with your child, not thinking about what you’re going to make for dinner or anything else but giving your child full attention?  If you were to do that for ten minutes verses spending an hour with your child while you are thinking of other things or trying to do other things at the same time, your child would benefit more. When you work, are you giving your work your full solid attention, or are you off here and there and doing different things on the computer and email?  If so, your work will suffer.  It is much better to spend a shorter amount of focused time than a longer period multitasking and not really accomplishing much. People can sense energy.  We’re sensitive beings.  When you are not giving your full undivided attention to someone or something, it is felt.  Also, notice how you feel when you’re multitasking.  When you sit down to eat and do not do anything else except nourish yourself and focus on what you are eating and how it feels in your body, what does that do for you verses eating on the fly, eating while you’re driving, or eating at the computer.  There is a difference. See if you can notice the times of day when you are more susceptible to multitasking and what is it that led up to that?  What kind of stress factors led you to feel the need to multitask, and what can you do right before it gets to that point, even if it’s just 2 minutes of quiet meditation where you close your eyes and breathe? Then make the decision to put your attention for the next 5 or 10 minutes into this activity only, and then move on to the next one.   Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence....

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Letting Go – The Most Freeing Thing You Can Ever Do

Letting Go – The Most Freeing Thing You Can Ever Do

Heather Hans What is the most freeing thing you can ever do? ~ Well, I gave it away in the title. Letting go. Letting go is so freeing that it even trumps forgiveness.  Forgiveness is like the ultimate of spiritual and religious doctrines, to forgive frees you.  That is the truth!  To let go takes it even a step further.  To let go, in your life, means to release your attachment to it, whatsoever.  It is to release control, to trust in the Divine as your partner, because the Divine cannot be your partner if you are holding on with such a tight grip that there is no room for anything to enter.  We hold on to things all the time.  We walk around tense.  Our thoughts are tense.  Our hearts get tense.  Our bodies get tense.  Half-the-time we don’t even realize we’re not breathing, because we’re so tense.  When you let it go, when you trust, when you no longer put energy towards whatever it is that you are focusing on, you are free. Think about the ultimate physical act of letting go, when your muscles are contracting and then there is this huge release and “Oh my goodness, it feels so good,” because you are letting go.  There is tension, and then you let go.  When you are trying to figure something out and wracking your brain there is no way you are going to resolve it, because you have not let go.  When you have a worry it will take hold of you the more you think about it, even though you think that if you keep thinking about it you will find a solution and resolve it.  In fact, it is the opposite.  When you let go, dump it to the universe (the universe can handle it) dump it to mother earth (she can handle it), and then it comes back to you refreshed in a new way. What in your life have you not let go of?  What are you holding on to?  You can tell when you are holding on to something when it causes unpleasant feelings, such as bitterness, resentment, worry, and anxiety.  These feelings mean that you have not let go, in fact, you are holding on with a tight grip.  If you can let go you will reach a new elevation that will make you smile.  I promise!  May we all learn to let go. Heather Hans is a mystical healer using loving energy to facilitate healing for the heart, mind, body and soul.  Heather can personally guide you in your journey of growth and healing through her new book The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence available through Amazon, Barnes&Noble, and booksellers world-wide.  Get your copy today! If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will NEVER be shared with...

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Your Soul Makes No Mistake

Your Soul Makes No Mistake

Heather Hans Your soul has never, ever, ever made a mistake! How does this statement sit with you?  Do you believe me? We make human errors all the time, all the time.  Yet, we have a deeper wisdom, and that is called the soul.  Our soul has a deeper wisdom than our brains.  Our brains are powerful.  Our brains are amazing!  Yet, the soul goes beyond the brain, and our soul guides us to every situation.  It guides us to every situation for our highest good in order to continue life.  The soul is everlasting, life is everlasting, and therefore, it wants to keep creating itself anew and it does whatever it needs to do to create something new and fresh. When we look back on our human earthly mistakes we can beat ourselves up or feel like we made a wrong turn, but we didn't.  Our soul even guided us towards those.  What can you learn from those “mistakes” or “errors,” and can you just let them roll off your back?  Let them roll, because we're always going to make mistakes, always!  In this world.  Yet our soul has a bigger grip on things than we do in our personalities and our minds.   Sometimes the most tragic, horrific, and upsetting events are exactly what our soul needed in order to expand and keep moving forward even more strongly and more powerfully.  What are some of the mistakes that you feel like you've made in your life that you didn't have to make?  Needless mistakes, stupid mistakes.  What might the soul have been guiding you towards with that mistake? What might it have been showing you? I don't have many regrets.  I regret all the sun I got when I was young, but why might my soul have guided me towards that, just being young and foolish and wanting to get a tan?  Well now I take good care of myself.  I used to smoke cigarettes.  I used to do all kinds of stuff, and now I take really good care of myself and will continue to for the rest of my life.  I don't think I would be taking care of myself as well as I do if my soul hadn't guided me down that other path first. Can you look at some of your mistakes and see how your soul has pushed you into them so that you can push yourself out of them and grow from them? Heather Hans is a mystical healer using loving energy to facilitate healing for the heart, mind, body and soul.  Heather can personally guide you in your journey of growth and healing through her new book The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence available through Amazon, Barnes&Noble, and booksellers world-wide.  Get your copy today! If you enjoyed this blog, get Heather's love direct to your inbox with email updates. *Your address will NEVER be shared with...

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Commitment Sets You Free

Commitment Sets You Free

Heather Hans Commitment is one is one of the four cornerstones of spirituality and of building something of value in this life.  I’m not talking about an empty commitment that you do just to save face or because you said you would.  The kind of commitment I’m talking about comes from the heart.  It is when you do something because you feel called to do it, and you don’t let anything stand in your way.  To do something religiously means you do it with regularity with consistency, with conscientiousness, with passion, and with dedication.  It could mean anything from eating well to playing basketball.  When you do something with commitment you do it in good times and in bad because you believe in it. Responsibility is what makes a person mature.  Sometimes people shy away from responsibility and commitment because they associate it with losing their freedom.  The irony is that committing yourself is actually what sets you free.  It is your tether to this earth.  It keeps you grounded.  When you are committed to something, when you are committed to your vision, your beliefs, your heart, to others, or to a better world it gives you reason to live which is very freeing.  It lets you know why you’re here.  Commitment helps you build something strong. I’m going to give you some examples of commitments that I have and as I go through them think about your own life and ways that you are committed or would like to become more committed. I have a prayer every morning that says “Thank you for restoring my soul into my body.  May I be happy and serve God.”  This simple commitment keeps me going and keeps me focused even on the days when I feel more suited for the heavens than I do here on earth. I am committed to my son, no matter what, forever and ever, and that commitment keeps me from jumping off a cliff when times are hard and it also helps me help him build something for the future. I have committed to making a living as spiritual teacher and no matter what obstacle I encounter I will remain true to that commitment, because it is the reason that I am here. I am committed to a deeply satisfying love relationship.  A person does not go through divorce and breakups and pain for nothing.  They go through it because they believe in something better and they are willing to do whatever it takes to fulfill that mission.  What is your mission in relationships? LeBron James is one of my heroes.  That man lives and breathes commitment.  His Facebook banner says “I promise to be there for my boys.” I even put a quote of his in my book.  He said, “Commitment is a big part of what I am and what I believe.  How committed are you to winning?  How committed are you to being a good friend, to being trustworthy, to being successful?  How committed are you to being a good father, a good teammate, a good role model?  There’s that moment every morning when you look in the mirror.  Are you committed or are you not?” I am committed to love, because I know it’s what heals. Heather Hans is a visionary, healer and teacher,...

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Making Decisions When Signs are Unclear

Making Decisions When Signs are Unclear

Heather Hans Have you ever had to make a hard decision in your life? Yeah!?! Sometimes I feel like every single decision of mine is this big struggle.  “What’s the right decision?” Sometimes we DO have difficult decisions to make and the path is not clear. Each way has pros and cons and hard as we try to listen to our mind, our heart, and our gut, there’s not a clear answer. Things aren’t black and white, usually they’re gray. How do we make a good decision? How do we make the RIGHT decision when the decision is hard and unclear? Decisions are made on a moment to moment basis. Every moment you have the opportunity to make a new decision. Remember that! No decision you make is ever permanent, because in the next moment you have another opportunity. I hope that lightens your load. The other thing is that if you approach decisions with sincerity and with a pure heart, wanting to do the right thing, wanting to do the best thing, you can’t go wrong. Because that sincerity and that pure heart is the right thing no matter which path you take.  When you make a decision, it’s important to let go. Make your decision and let go, and then a new moment arises. Make it and let go, make it and let go. If you take a while to make a decision that’s okay! So many people want to know the answers. They want to feel like they have the answers and come to a decision because being in uncertainty, being ambivalent, is anxiety provoking. It’s insecure, but that’s where the power lies. When you’re in that state of flux and in that state of insecurity, when you can hold the darkness and the light, when you can hold certainty and uncertainty at the same time, that’s powerful. Rushing to a decision to make it in order to put yourself at ease is not powerful. That’s running out of fear. Here’s a prayer of mine to God when I have a difficult decision to make: “Dear God, trying as this situation has been, it’s strengthened my commitment to you. I leaned on you when I felt alone and insecure, and though I continue to feel confused and you unanswerable, I was reminded often that I was placed on this earth by YOU, which means I can’t lose either way.” Either decision is okay! “What I can do is use my heart, my mind, my body, and my soul to move in the direction I believe is most in line with my integrity without condemning or idolizing the path not taken. I figure you’ll take me when the time is right, and until then I will create new life. Amen.” I wish this for you, to know, you cannot go wrong if you put your heart and soul into making a decision for yourself. Know that in every moment we have a new opportunity, and in every moment in the past you made the best decision you knew how to make at that time. Bravo! Heather Hans is a mystical healer using loving energy to facilitate healing for the heart, mind, body and soul.  Heather can personally guide you in your journey of growth and healing through her...

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How Do You Brighten the Lives of Others?

How Do You Brighten the Lives of Others?

Heather Hans Today’s blog is interactive, so get out your paper and pen! On that paper I want you to write down five beings whose lives you positively touch.  Yes, five beings whose lives you positively touch.  These are ~ people, animals, the earth ~ any kind of living being whose life you brighten and make better and contribute to.  We all have these in our lives, many more than 5, but when we feel low and down we forget how significant we are, and it doesn't mean we have to do something huge to be significant.  It means that we are affecting people’s lives in a positive way just by existing.  That is love – to be loved just because you exist. Whose life do you touch?  Obviously your family.  Which ones of your family members’ lives to you touch, and how do you touch it?  What do you do?  What are some of the ways that you show your love?  Animals.  Do you have an animal, or several, on your life?  You surely touch their lives in a positive way.  Children, family or not.  These can be people you see often or rarely.  Sometimes we remember those people we only had brief contact with like a helper, mentor or coach that was only in our life for a period of time, but we remember them because they made a positive impact. What about the earth?  What do you do for the earth to show your love?  How do you positively impact the earth? If you recycle you’re doing something positive for the earth.  If you compost, if you’re conscientious about the waste that you put into the earth.  Those are ways that the earth is benefiting by you. What about in your community?  Whose lives are you touching?  Did you know that when you go to the store and make a purchase you are positively impacting many people’s lives because you are supporting that store, and you are supporting the employees of that store.  People don’t think about this.  We think we’re just buying stuff and going home, but you made a difference in that store and to those people.  If you volunteer you’re certainly making a difference.  You’re donating your time, your money, your skills! In your workplace.  What about in your workplace?  Work is meant to be positive.  It’s meant to inspire and create new life, new forms of life in one way or another, not matter what your profession is, we are bringing new life to the world through our work.  How do you do that through your work?  Whatever job you do, no matter how small, it’s contributing to the bigger whole of someone being provided a good or service that betters the world, hopefully. 😉 Who are five people or beings that benefit from you, your houseplants, your dog, your lover, your friend, the person at the store?  Write down their names, and write down what you do for them.  1. being alive – that brightens their world. Heather Hans is a mystical healer using loving energy to facilitate healing for the heart, mind, body and soul.  Heather can personally guide you in your journey of growth and healing through her new book The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence available through Amazon, Barnes&Noble, and...

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Rejection is Healthy

Rejection is Healthy

  Heather Hans What word, image, or feeling comes to mind when you hear the word rejection?  Usually it’s negative. Right?  Well, I’m here to tell you rejection is healthy.  You heard me right. Rejection is healthy and can be there for you to grow into all you’re meant to be.  When someone rejects you it hurts, no doubt about it, but what it can also do for you is test your desire. When you have a goal or a dream and people mock it or they put you down, or you’re trying to reach the dream and you get rejected along the way, somehow people don’t like your idea or they think it’s silly or they think your dream’s too big, whatever the negativity given, having a healthy dose of rejection in there actually tests how badly you want that dream to come true.  If you get knocked down at the first sign of rejection life’s going to be unbearable.  We all get rejected at different points in our life.  It is part of the human experience and no one escapes it.  We can use it to test our desire and say, “Do I really want this?”  If so I’m not going to let this one bump in the road stop me. Another thing rejection does FOR you is to become fuel for you and your goals.  You can take the painful feelings that you have from rejection and turn them into love and fuel by saying “Oh, yeah, I’ll show you!”  What you’re really doing is saying I’ll show myself that this is who I am.  This is what I’m meant to have and who I’m meant to be in the world.  It’s using your pain as energy, converting it from a negative debilitating energy to a positive productive energy. Look at your life.  See in what ways you feel rejected and know you are not alone, everyone feels rejected at some time or another.  Many of us reject ourselves by feeling ashamed, feeling like we’re not good enough, or that we’re always making mistakes.  See where you feel rejected and how you can turn this around to say, “I’m going to use this to grow.” “I’m going to use this to reach my goal.” “I’m going to use this to see what I’m truly made of.”  We are so resilient and we are so powerful, so capable of our full expression in this life. If you can use that knowledge and allow it to help you to stand tall and proud it will make your soul stronger.  The stronger your soul the more resilient you will be and the easier time you will have to grow into all that you’re meant to be.  You are meant to shine in this world in your own unique way.  Don’t let anyone try to tell you something different.  Remember even Oprah Winfrey once had a boyfriend who told her that her problem was that she thought she was special. Look what she did with that.  Use that kind of rejection and pain as fuel and say “Thank you,” because after you get over your hurt it’s going to help you.  It will help you become stronger. Heather Hans is a mystical healer using loving energy to facilitate healing for the heart,...

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Poisonous Thoughts

Poisonous Thoughts

Heather Hans Poison!  Poisonous thoughts destroy us. Do you know how many poisonous thoughts you have in a day?  I wasn’t aware of it until recently when I noticed a subtle decline in my physical health.  This decline was because I was focusing hard on something that bothered me. Our thoughts are our biggest enemy.  They can also be what bring us the most joy when we direct them in the right places.  We are so in our heads that we don’t even realize what’s going on with our thoughts.  It’s our reality.  But if were to stand back and objectively look at how much we were focusing on negativity we’d be amazed.  I was amazed! I didn’t think I was a negative person until I looked at some of my thoughts recently.  I was astounded!  Me, negative?!?  Me, cynical?!? I like to uplift people.  I like to feel uplifted, but when I examined my own thoughts and saw the disappointment, the negative, the cynical and pessimistic attitude that I was holding with me from long ago, WAY long ago, I saw it had become a pattern.  The things that go on in our minds are patterns.  They have established grooves, just like grooves in those old albums.  They go around and round and each time they go around they form a deeper, deeper, deeper groove until they seem normal.  It seems normal to have these negative thoughts, so normal that we don’t even know we’re having negative thoughts.  They don’t seem negative! If you look at a person’s life you will see their thoughts.  If a person is living in abundance and love it is a reflection of their thoughts.  If a person is living in sickness, in lack, in sorrow, in heartbreak, in suffering, that is a reflection of their thoughts.  Their thoughts are creating their reality. The mind is powerful.  We are powerful. We are even more powerful than our minds, and that’s the good news.  Our minds are strong and they do what they do, but when you notice what it's doing, YOU have the ability to notice those thoughts and set up a new groove.  At first that new groove will be slippery, because there won’t be much of a divot there.  It will be slippery, and we won’t know.  We won’t feel like we’re standing on solid ground, because we’re not used to thinking so abundantly.  We’ve gotten used to these pessimistic thoughts.  But the more we practice our new thoughts, everything in life is a practice, the deeper engrained they become until eventually we form a new groove and our outside life reflects that new groove. We have abundance in our life. We are not bogged down with disappointment. We are not constantly let down. We do not see all of these things around us that bother us.  It’s just setting up a new groove, and the power is in you. Examine your thoughts.  The biggest way to do that is to observe how you feel and observe your life.  The places where you’ve had positive thoughts are places that are abundant in your life.  Look at where there is abundance in your life and most likely those are places where you’ve had pure love and pure confidence, so you’ve manifested it.  The places where you’re lacking...

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