I've had a tremendous amount of loss and disappointment in my life. I'm here to tell you that loss, disappointment and disaster can actually HELP you achieve your goals! Anyone who has achieved greatness did so through the process of death and rebirth. The only difference between them and other people is that they realized how special they were, while other people don’t.
Loss makes room for something better, and death doesn’t last forever anyway. Life is a constant process of dying and being reborn. If you’re not willing to let go of old money then new money can’t come in. I spent my entire life savings and retirement account in order to start this business of the work that I’m doing now. Scary? Of course, but it’s an act of faith knowing that new life and new money will enter.
If you’re not willing to let go of a dead relationship you will never experience the fullness of a true loving fulfilling relationship. This is hard. I’ve had to do it myself. It’s painful at the time, but if you want that fulfilling relationship you have to let it go.
If not willing to let go of your footloose fancy-free status as a single person you will never know one of the most deep satisfactions of life which is being a parent. Parenthood is the greatest love of my life, and so many parents I know would say the same thing. But you have to let go of a certain amount of freedom.
Finally if you’re not willing to let go of your status as a victim, meaning using blame and excuse making for not living the life that you want, then you will never ever be happy.
When you’ve been through the worst, you no longer fear the worst. Loss and disappointment work your faith muscle, and faith is the single biggest ingredient to success. Overcoming Disaster allows you to become more resilient, which leads to a happier, healthier life. Hence the saying, "Survival of the fittest." When you are faced with adversity you’re forced to master your own mental game.
Disappointment tests your desire. How badly do you want what it is that you want? If you quit after a few disappointments and a few failures, then you don’t want it badly enough. Think of adversity as mile markers on the marathon to success.
Loss often makes you more compassionate, because you have to forgive extremely hurtful acts sometimes in order to move on and be free. When you’re more compassionate you have better relationships.
It also allows you to make your opinion of yourself primary. If someone dumps you or doesn’t see your worth, that’s their problem, not yours. Your work is to make your own opinion of yourself despite what other people say, and loss helps you do that.
Loss Motivates You to Examine and Learn. And, remember, when a door closes on you, a more enchanting one opens a few steps up! Struggle is the part of your story where things about to get good! It’s the precursor to success!
Loss, disappointment and disaster bring you closer to your goals. Don't quite 5 minutes before the miracle!
Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life. Join Heather’s 30-Day confidence challenge at heatherhans.avanoo.com