Heather Hans

Differences

In your personal life or in your work do you wonder how to bring people together?  Maybe this isn’t something you come across every day, but you are a citizen of the world, which means that if you come together with other fellow citizens of the world we will have a more united world, a more powerful and productive world, a more evolving world.

Imagine if our world was invaded by aliens.  All of a sudden all of those things that matter to us now about differences and people would vanish. We would unite as a HUMAN race.  Because I am a woman does that mean that I can only be friends with women, or only have women in my life?  Of course not.  Because I am an American does that mean I cannot appreciate other cultures or other nationalities? Because I am Jewish does that mean I can only surround myself with Jewish people? No.  I have a new friend who is a Muslim and we find joy in coming together and seeing how our religions are actually similar and how we see eye to eye even though in form they may look very different.

Coming together and bringing people together means meeting people where they are.  This is what therapists are trained to do.  We meet people where they are.  You don’t judge a person for being where they are, you simply get into the space of where they are and relate to them from that point, as best you can.  You don’t ever know what it is like to be in someone else’s shoes, but you can take away that judgment and know this is where they are.   I am a big activist for women’s rights.  How do I meet with someone who is sexist?  Well, I try to get into their psyche and figure out how and why they got that way.  Maybe this is something that has been rooted in them for generations, and it has become part of what they know to be true.  When you can meet someone where they are, then you have the most hope of transform and also to make peace.  To make peace is really what we want.  I don’t know anyone who wants to be in war.  Even the people who are going to war claim that it is for peace.

All of the different colors, genders, sexual orientations, religions, nationalities, and ages; they are all perfect as they are, in this moment.  If you can say that without judging and respect other peoples’ differences, while at the same time finding your common humanity, you can recognize the contributions these differences make.  You were born as a man or a woman; there are two different genders.  Is one better than the other?  No.  It means they are different.  They each have something different to offer to the world.  They complement each other.  And, at the core, they are both the same. Human.

To unite people, to bring people together, to relate people  you must meet them where they are and respect that wherever they are is where they need to be, at this moment.  Realize that differences of religion, actions, beliefs or thoughts may not be right for you, but maybe it is right for them and what they need. That is how we unite people.  The next time you find yourself judging someone, putting someone down or not knowing how to resolve a conflict see if you can find the common humanity between both of you.

 

Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life. Her book is an ingredient list that teaches people the steps to self-love and radiance. The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence is available through AmazonBarnes&Noble, and booksellers world-wide.