Success in life and love happens through repeated attempts and failure. Basketball great, Michael Jordan, said:
“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
The more toads you kiss, the sweeter the prince (or princess)! Here is a list of benefits we gain from adversity, and from missing the mark in love.
1.) Creates Resilience. Resilience is a process that allows you to live a happier, healthier, more successful life. Having opportunities to respond to adversity allows you to master your own mental game.
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~ Al-Anon
2.) Motivates You to Examine and Learn. Each defeat allows you to learn more about yourself and your circumstances. And, remember, when a door closes on you, a more enchanting one opens a few steps up!
3.) Tests Your Desire. How badly do you want love, success, or anything else in your life? If you quit after a few failures, then you don’t want it badly enough. Think of adversity as mile markers on the marathon to success.
4.) Gain More Empathy and Humility. Each time you “fail,” you become more humble and empathetic to humanity, two of the most spiritual qualities that exist.
5.) Builds Strength of Soul and Character. Not everything worth achieving needs to be difficult, but there is a quiet, solid strength you gain when you’ve earned something through “blood, sweat, and tears.” Whether it’s a degree pursued through formal education, or wisdom through the school of hard knocks, you’ve earned it. Be proud.
6.) Allows You to Make Your Own Opinion of Yourself Primary. When someone dumps you or doesn’t have the ability to see or match your value, it is an opportunity for you to grow your self-worth. One of the most enlightened states we can achieve is when we are no longer affected by others’ opinions of us.
Heather Hans, LCSW, MSW, MBA, CPIC, is a Visionary, Healer & Teacher, and the author of The Heart of Self-Love: How to Radiate with Confidence. It is Heather's firm belief that loving oneself is necessary to have fulfilling relationships and a successful life. To have Heather's inspiration delivered directly to your inbox sign up for her Newsletter (your email will NEVER be shared).